Opposites don't attract and make you fat!

I really believe this one when it comes to fitness, friends, and well in my case, marriage!

In my experience there are two types of women (people for that matter) in the world: 1) Those who appreciate the benefits of exercise and thus engage in it and 2) those that recognize the benefits of exercise, but who do not engage in it. Now, within the former group there are subtypes of people - those who really like to exercise; who like it when their body is in motion; who love to play sports and engage in rigorous exercise routines, and who probably would so even if the benefits were not there. Then there are the other subtypes, those that do it because "you are supposed to", because "its good for you", etc, and loathe every stinking minute of it. I find myself, quite happily in the former subtype. Of the latter main type - those that do not engage in fitness - well it is hard work and tiresome and takes time and effort and planning and distracts from your personal life so I understand, but this post isn't about those lazy bastards. 

I am fortunate to also be in the category of having married a woman who is like me. We both exercise, a lot, and we both enjoy it. OK, not every workout is like a day in Mr Rogers neighborhood, but generally we like the feeling of working out and being fit. I truly believe that when it comes to selection of a long term romantic partner fitness is a huge factor. I was married once before. My ex-wife was, well, one my say, a lazy turd. Not only did she loathe exercise of just about any sort, but she ultimately developed an allergy to her own sweat! I am serious! So even a brisk walk was out of the question. This, as you might imagine, created quite a rift between us. I woke up every morning and hit the gym (I prefer morning workouts when Testosterone is high). By the time I got home from my workout she had left for work. So we spent a lot of time apart, which at the time was find by me. That was not the major issue that my fitness program created. Rather it was more social. For example, on a night out I would make plans to hit the gym with a workout partner the next morning. Now this is particularly easy for me because I don't experience the phenomenon related to ingesting large quantities of alcohol generally known as a "hang over." Never have had one, hope I never do because they appear to be a really big pain in the ass. So Saturday morning I'd be up, as normal, bright and early off to pump some iron. Grunt groan and schlep those weights!  I would often receive comments from her about my fitness regime. I was "too serious about working out" (coming from someone who never did a shred of exercise nor played a sport). I was "wasting money on a gym membership." I was "getting to musclely." Then when some of our friends started noticing me lose weight and get fit and commenting on it, well things got even worse. Sublt things that it took me a while to come to - like baking batches of cookies (I am about the biggest sucker for a batch of cookies that you will find and cannot stop at 1 cookie, rather I eat about 2 dozen in a sitting, seriously!) Then on several occasions a girlfriend would comment, "steve, your arms are getting really big." It was not a flirt, but you know you get if someone makes that kind of comment about your partner. First time, it is ok and you interpret it as it was probably meant - nice that they notice, and that they are right. Then, as it happens more and more often there is a tendency to develop a paranoia about it. Hm, I wonder if s/he wants to get it on with my wo/man? Bitch! Dick! Asshole! etc. Obviously, we were completely different. I loved to workout and would always take the opportunity to do so - whether it be to jet off to a touch football game on saturday or to just hit the gym regularly. Well that situation did not work out. 

My new wife, on the other hand, is the best thing that has ever happened to my fitness and I! She, Austen, loves to workout! She is an addict like myself and we compliment each others addiction perfectly right down to the low cal high protein post-workout snacks!  we are truly birds of a feather and we workout together :-)

Austen and I sometimes even workout together. For example, we are doing another (5K) run in two weeks. We will sometimes spot each other or show each other new exercises that we (think we) created. Then we push each other - come on baby, one more rep, you can do it, dont quit on me now!!! In the gym we have very similar attitudes about fitness and about the consequences of not maintaining our fitness. I love that about her. However, this similarity is just the icing on the cake. The cake is loaded with characteristics that are wonderful.  I have notice for a long time, that inside and outside the gym she is supportive of me, and I of her. In just about any situation we can turn to our best friend and ask advice, emote, or simply vent! It is not judged, it is not devalued, it is just information exchange that is taken for what it's worth. If advice is asked, because we are similar, the advice tends to be that you might expect of someone who has known you for your entire life (past and present, if there is a past life... LOL!) But all this support, love and compatibility became abundantly clear to me while we were working out. She put a premium on finding time to workout. One weekend in a New Jersey Winter we were snowed in. Worried about whether we'd get to dirty our workout clothes we started up the 4X4 truck and took a try at getting to the gym. I think the first day we didn't make it because the roads were a mess, but rest assured we made a little home circuit to compensate. The second day we were snowed in, we were able to get out and get to the gym, which to our surprise was open. Yeah they were open - it's like a drug dealer going on vacation - it doesn't happen! They had to be open to feed our, and others addictions. And feed they did. We had a great workout, if I recall correctly, and went home and snuggled in the snowed in house, which was not "really" snowed in. 

Anyhow, in all this there is a message - opposites don't attract and they (might) make you fat. I think many of us have been subject to starting the new dating relationship and forgoing a number of things - working out is almost always one of them. Like when the economy goes bust (as if that would ever happen) extras go, and the gym for many people is extra! Finding someone who shares your enthusiasm and dedication to fitness and exercise is paramount for a healthy (figuratively and literally) relationship. Now go find yourself a gym rat girl! ;-)