Your fat? It's all your mother's fault

A recent article published in the journal Eating Behaviors has found evidence that the development of eating related disorders (e.g. anorexia and bulimia, especially in females) is related to family factors associated with, or surrounding food. The main finding is that family dysfunction leads to eating disorder, but that the connection between eating disorder and family function was completely mediated by negative family food-related experiences (e.g., parental modeling, parental expectations, and teasing about food, eating, or being overweight). Interestingly, a close look at the data show that maternal effects appear to have slightly larger impact (remember these are girl research participants) than paternal effects. 

Especially with the major eating holidays just around the corner this made me think about my family food-related experiences. I asked myself what were they like? Typically and at key times when stress might be particularly high, or low, like Holidays? I asked myself about whether I thought these experiences led to my eating "issues" and fitness addiction? 

My upbringing was not an unusual one for a boy born in Philadelphia and later raised in South Jersey. School every day; play (sports or video games) after school; make every attempt to convince mom and dad I had done my homework, when in fact I had not even bothered bringing it home; etc. Both of my parents worked full time jobs, and my dad worked overtime just about every chance he could get. It's probably, no in fact it IS the reason that we had an in ground pool and I was able to play on the local ice hockey club, which cost a fortune (+ travel around the country). Neither of my parents have college degrees, they came from working class families and were hell bent on their kids going to college. My mom was a medium sized, blonde bombshell, not that she flaunted it, but I've seen pics and my mom was hot! My dad was a beast. there are few other words I could ever use to describe this man - but a beast. He was an ex-marine turned railroad laborer. He swung a sledge hammer or operated heavy machinery for a lot of his life. He hand hands like King Kong. I remember one day we were laying down railroad ties to serve as an outline/barrier to our garden. He told me to grab one, which I did after about 15 minutes of struggling with how to hold the damn thing and walk with it. He grabbed one in his left and one in his right. Stood up and walked off as if he was carrying to grocery bags! He was also ripped, like Men's Health cover ripped and diesel. Strong as an oxe, obviouly I worshipped him when he was alive. He was also kind of a dick. He would scare the shit out of my friends on a regular basis. One of my very good childhood friends actually stopped coming to my home because every time he walked into my house my dad would grab him by the shirt (usually with about a fistful of chest skin too) and pick him up off the floor about 1-2 feet and say, "What the hell do you want?!"  Then drop him and laugh... hahaha, some sense of humor eh?

They, my folks, grew up in an era where fitness was not fab, posh, or even existent outside of NFL'ers, ironman comps, and pro body building. Fitness was neither science nor fad for them; it was not even a thought (ok until Richard Simmons' explosion onto the scene). As kids without televisions, and nintendos, and such, they were forced outside to work and play. They lost weight the old fashioned way - outdoor sweat! (Unlike kids of today!)  They were not taught to eat healthy. Rather they were taught to eat; if it was on the plate you ate it - else you went to bed hungry. Kind of makes sense to me, actually. Even health related disease was not a concern - my mothers OB/GYN told her that is was OK to drink while pregnant (that it would alleviate the tension and calm the child) and to smoke. Smoking was thought to, and now known to, reduce birth weight. Well I guess for mothers, reducing the size of objects tearing apart your vagina sounds like a pretty good idea....but nowadays we frown upon it, I think, although I have been to several Liverpudlian pubs... hmmm. Anyhow....

So, obviously they learned - things change. Except when it came to food. Based upon this upbringing they were crazy eaters. We had the money to buy food and put it on the table and even have leftovers and that did not stop my mom and dad from saying - EAT UP BOYS AND GIRLS! A typical meal at my house consisted of: a meat (e.g., chicken, pork chops, meatloaf, hamburgers, and most items were breaded and deep fried, cuz we could(!)), at least 2 usually 4 different vegetables, a starch or two (e.g., potatoes and rice), bread, salad, and dessert. Every meal we had something for dessert. What's that? what's that you ask? Was I a fatto as a kid? Yes. Of course I was. I was a walking, breathing tird! When we sat down for dinner, which we always did together seven nights a week as a family (a great thing) we ate what we took and more. My dad would literally force us to eat more. "Come on! You can put down at least 2 more (fried) pork chops and some more green beans, I know you can!" Then afterwards, because of course I did it to impress him with how much I could eat, he'd shout "Jesus christ! Steve you eat like a truck driver!" No offense to Drivers, I have actually never seen one eat, mainly out of fear ;-) 

It was not until college actually that I changed my ways. I went on a long road trip to Daytona Beach, Florida with a friend of mine (that one who'd be picked up by his chest skin) and two females from one of our classes; I didnt know their names then, and still dont. Anyhow, on the way down - straight drive 24.75 hours - stopping only to urinate on the side of the road (much to the gals dismay), on this trip, I ate 3/4 of a 5lb bag of Mike & Ikes (you know, the world's greatest candy!) My friend so kindly said to me as we unshirted for the pool, dude - you're fat. Now this was probably a mate retention tactic on his part, as he was very close to mating the hotter of the two unknown females, but for some reason, at that very moment, those words struck a chord in me. I laughed, while angling my head down at myself - "I was fat!" How? When did this happen? 

This started me on a road to eating "disorderhood" - restrained eating as it is scientifically called. Where I monitor, binge, become addicted to exercise, and then stop and then start in a vicious circle of self-hate and exercise love. 

I now think back: What were the cues that made me eat the way I did, and think it OK to devour an entire Dennys Big Breakfast like it was a handful of peanuts? It probably was my family; there incessant desire for me to have what they did not. But I cannot blame them. They did not know. For me, it was me, my own doing. I ate, because eating fucking rules! I still love to eat and in a hot minute you might find me at the local Waffle House downing the pecan waffle supreme b-fast - that baby is about 6000 calories of no redeeming nutritional quality, but tastes like a gustatory orgasm! Brilliant, in other words. 

I wonder what people think about parental effects on their current eating habits? I constantly annoy my mom and sister now with the way I eat. My mom eats ok these days - but she doesn't weigh more than 99 lbs. But in general I watch what I eat. Try to measure serving sizes. Try to avoid dessert and sweets, replacing them with trail mix and dates. Anyone else have experiences like this? I realize that this is a huge theme in female development of eating disorders, but similar effects can and in my case have occurred in males. 

Anyhow, I gotta run. I have to make my pre-measured, low calorie, high protein and fiber, well-balanced afternoon snack before I go to martial arts :-)