Monday, January 25, 2010

Flattery goes a long, long, way, so be nice for goodness sake!

Compliments are a wonderful thing. If they are delivered in earnest then they convey such a nice message and if received without doubt they can lift a mood as high as high can go. Furthermore, giving a compliment, that is being nice, can also make the giver feel better. Producing a smile in another person feels good. It's, well, contagious if you will...

Just the other day, I was complimented (rare as that is) twice in one day. Yes, I said twice as in two times in one day! The thing I noticed about a compliment is that they are highly valued when they come from no where. Wholly unexpected wondrous love (loosely defined) from another individual. Your dog does it everyday, I am sure. Right? When you sit down to pet, orient toward, or yell "Fido, let's go for a walk" - s/he wags the tail. Hell, that's a great compliment. That's like the dog saying - YOU FUCKING RULE DAD! YOUR PETTING IS THE BEST THING IN MY DAY!!! OH WAIT, THERE'S A SQUIRREL! Humans do not have such ostensible fixed action patterns (FAPs) for telling you how they feel about you (well, maybe, but more on that in another post). Rather humans have to use language to persuade you that 1) they are being an honest conveyor of a message and 2) that the message they are conveying means something to the receiver. Sometimes, these conditions are not met, like when a graduate students says to their major professor: "You are the smartest scientist I have ever met!" With exception of my case, for which my PhD supervisor, Prof. Gordon Gallup Jr., is the smartest person I've ever met, most PhD students are full of shit! They are being dishonest to the person, and more importantly to themselves. It takes a lot of work to deceive, try to deceive, etc. They don't call it the simple truth for nothing! The other way that a compliment can go awry is when the message, even if being delivered honestly, means little or nothing to the receiver. For example, is someone says to you "Whoa you got mad typing skillz" and you don't give a rat's ass about how fast people type, let alone your own lightning fast phalange flexing ... then the compliment falls short of having any effect.

OK, so I was complimented the other day by two people, one of whom I have known for about a year or so and the other I have never met.  In the first instance a student of mine said that he really likes reading my blog. That's twice in a 10 day period someone asked me about my blog. I hadn't thought anyone actually read the damn thing, it started as a means to communicate with my pals in England about our workout regimen, but special thanks to my two readers! The student went on to say that he really liked reading it. It was a great compliment, it made me feel like whoa - I entertained a person. Ha! So cool, someone commented about my fitness-based blog. Actually another person did, as well. About 10 days ago another student said she tried my Bear Attack Defense workout and it was really hard, but a great workout. Glad to help. So This got me thinking, if (2) people read it, why not get back to it! Not to mention it's really quite fun to get your thoughts down...

The second compliment, not unrelated to the fitness and blogging, came from someone I never met, talked to, or had ever even seen. I was riding the elevator with a student. We were discussing the workings of Al Einstein's brain and a paper that we are writing on the topic. This other person rushes to get into the elevator (don't fret, I typically never take the elevator for all the expected reasons, but the student had a suitcase with her). So this person comes in, interrupts our conversation about ol' "relativity Al" boy's cortex and says to me: "Hey, you look like the 300 guy". OK, at first I was like, I look like 300 guys, so much for the adorable unique sleek look I was going for, just teasing. In all seriousness I was thinking to myself, ok... self. 300 guy. Does she mean the 300 guy that appeared in the movie (see Image 1) or the aftermath of his fame in which he turned into a toad (see Image 2)? She clarified very quickly by saying, but have you seen how he's let himself go to shit? This is the second time I received this compliment, probably because of the goattee, but whatever, I will take it and believe it's because of the muscles!

Image 1


Image 2



Compliments are wonderful. This tiny little series of statements had made my week! Energized me. Excited me (in the non explicit way, of course!) It's amazing what a nice gesture can do. I am far from the first person to write about this. And further from the person to be expected writing about this as my typical catch phrase is "I got enough friends!" I only have about 2.

So my charge to anyone out there reading this (all 2 of you) is to be nice. And be nice to someone about their fitness. If you see someone in the gym working really hard, let them know. If you see someone push a weight that is amazing, let them know. The other day a young man in my gym hang power cleaned 225 pounds with perfect form and I let know it was fucking impressive! He smiled. If you see someone who's toned up, tightened up, bulked up, or simply shaped up, let them know! Don't be perverted about it. Just let them know that since the last time you saw them, they look really good and that the workouts are obviously helping. This happens to my wife quite frequently.  Encouragement can go a long way and for someone trying to lose weight, tighten up, or get big, a few words of encouragement from a complete, or relative, stranger could be just the trick to keep them going. See we all go home and expect wife, husband, mate, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, rover, felix, mom, or dad to say good things about us. Those compliments are great too, dont get me wrong, but a compliment from a stranger or acquaintance holds more weight. See they dont have to say a damn thing. They could just keep their mouth shut (and most of the time we hope they do that, right?) BUt for someone to purposefully go out of their way to say "Way to go kiddo!" - now that's just good humanity!

So go out there and be good to your fellow workerouters for goodness sake!

1 comment:

gilesdm said...

This looks hardcore!!
Nice tho! :P